The major holidays!
14 years ago
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
"People are just people, they shouldn't make you nervous."
My life has been one widespread epidemic of anxiety culminating in my inability to function as an adult human being. Fear is my only constant in life.
They tell you to immerse yourself in the triggers of your anxiety. To "feel the fear and do it anyway" and then you will eventually get over it.
I confront my fears every day and it doesn't get much easier. I must be doing something wrong.
My mother loves the show The Dog Whisperer. Cesar Milan works his magic by training dogs to eradicate self-destructive behaviors. Today he was training a German Shepard to no longer be afraid of people. He used a collar that vibrated during doggy attacks of panic and it eventually corrected the undesirable mental state.
Maybe what I need is a vibration collar. Or maybe just a Neurotic Young Lady Whisperer.
~o~o~o~o~
Introversion does not fit into American society.
I've all but convinced myself that I would be happier isolated in a remote location with zero human interaction. Or at least as happy as I am with.
I'm not sure whether it is not true.
~o~o~o~o~
Fear is the path to the dark side. Sounds like I would be a terrible jedi.
They tell you to immerse yourself in the triggers of your anxiety. To "feel the fear and do it anyway" and then you will eventually get over it.
I confront my fears every day and it doesn't get much easier. I must be doing something wrong.
My mother loves the show The Dog Whisperer. Cesar Milan works his magic by training dogs to eradicate self-destructive behaviors. Today he was training a German Shepard to no longer be afraid of people. He used a collar that vibrated during doggy attacks of panic and it eventually corrected the undesirable mental state.
Maybe what I need is a vibration collar. Or maybe just a Neurotic Young Lady Whisperer.
~o~o~o~o~
Introversion does not fit into American society.
I've all but convinced myself that I would be happier isolated in a remote location with zero human interaction. Or at least as happy as I am with.
I'm not sure whether it is not true.
~o~o~o~o~
Fear is the path to the dark side. Sounds like I would be a terrible jedi.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The only thing that there's just too little of.
The possession of above-average intelligence is an arguably isolating condition.
If I were to ever procreate, I would want to pick an intelligent sperm. But then I would worry that my progeny would be doomed to a lifetime of awkwardness as smart people are generally the most neurotic.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Weakness: bad joints. Weakness: people phobia. Weakness: self-deprecation. Weakness: hypochondriasis. Weakness: chocoloate. Weakness: cynicism.
Or would cynicism be a strength?
I guess it depends on who you ask.
Definitions is where we the people get in trouble.
Our society is set up such that there is good and evil and nothing else. Guilty or not guilty. There is no such thing as 25% guilty. At least not in our justice system. There is no gray in the world. It is all labels. Society=labels.
You are male or female and thus have the corresponding gender role characteristics involved therein. You are Christian or not. Buddhist or not. Atheist or not. You like kids, or you don't. You support health care bills or you don't. You are hippie. You are gangster. You are indie scene.
And we are all pretentious.
And so sure of ourselves. Because in everyone's mind, they are in the right. Their opinions are the correct opinions, otherwise they would not subscribe to them. There is so rarely room for any other opinion but their own. Humans do not tolerate moral conflict well.
Wrapped up in our unique identities. And we are all correct. And we cannot respect any other opinion but our own.
~~~
Why do we get so bent out of shape when someone disrespects us, and then we turn around and do a similar thing out of the same fear and indecision that was experienced by the original wrongdoer.
Is it american society that makes us dishonest to the point where we NEED to spare another person's feelings? Or is that a universal human condition?
~~~~
All persons view the world differently. Unless they don't. Maybe the normal people view it normally. And the reason I have not found anyone with my worldview is because I am the sole seer of worlds. Ours is the only reality of consequence. What makes me believe that thoughts arise in other people's brains? How do I know these people exist...the only thing I know for certain is that I am in existence.
Can we delude ourselves into believing we are crazy.
What if there were more crazy people in this world than sane. And how would you know that there isn't?
~~~~
Why is Fuck a bad word? Because mommy and daddy told me it was the first time I used it at them? What makes it so bad? is it not just four letters strung together. it creates meaning. But meaning is used differently among different individuals.
Why is frak any better or worse?
If you call a gay man a bundle of sticks, would he get offended? What if the sentiment behind was dripping with hatred?
~~
How do you navigate a world with so many diverse peoples. So many variables. What ifs. Hows comes. Where for. In what respect.
Respect.
What the world needs now is respect. Sweet respect.
Just because there is love does mean not respect is.
The more love we have, the more attachment and thus inevitable suffering. Love leads to eventual heartbreak. Respect leads to a general well-being amongst the human race.
The song got it wrong. Respect-- its the only thing that there's just too little of.
If I were to ever procreate, I would want to pick an intelligent sperm. But then I would worry that my progeny would be doomed to a lifetime of awkwardness as smart people are generally the most neurotic.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Weakness: bad joints. Weakness: people phobia. Weakness: self-deprecation. Weakness: hypochondriasis. Weakness: chocoloate. Weakness: cynicism.
Or would cynicism be a strength?
I guess it depends on who you ask.
Definitions is where we the people get in trouble.
Our society is set up such that there is good and evil and nothing else. Guilty or not guilty. There is no such thing as 25% guilty. At least not in our justice system. There is no gray in the world. It is all labels. Society=labels.
You are male or female and thus have the corresponding gender role characteristics involved therein. You are Christian or not. Buddhist or not. Atheist or not. You like kids, or you don't. You support health care bills or you don't. You are hippie. You are gangster. You are indie scene.
And we are all pretentious.
And so sure of ourselves. Because in everyone's mind, they are in the right. Their opinions are the correct opinions, otherwise they would not subscribe to them. There is so rarely room for any other opinion but their own. Humans do not tolerate moral conflict well.
Wrapped up in our unique identities. And we are all correct. And we cannot respect any other opinion but our own.
~~~
Why do we get so bent out of shape when someone disrespects us, and then we turn around and do a similar thing out of the same fear and indecision that was experienced by the original wrongdoer.
Is it american society that makes us dishonest to the point where we NEED to spare another person's feelings? Or is that a universal human condition?
~~~~
All persons view the world differently. Unless they don't. Maybe the normal people view it normally. And the reason I have not found anyone with my worldview is because I am the sole seer of worlds. Ours is the only reality of consequence. What makes me believe that thoughts arise in other people's brains? How do I know these people exist...the only thing I know for certain is that I am in existence.
Can we delude ourselves into believing we are crazy.
What if there were more crazy people in this world than sane. And how would you know that there isn't?
~~~~
Why is Fuck a bad word? Because mommy and daddy told me it was the first time I used it at them? What makes it so bad? is it not just four letters strung together. it creates meaning. But meaning is used differently among different individuals.
Why is frak any better or worse?
If you call a gay man a bundle of sticks, would he get offended? What if the sentiment behind was dripping with hatred?
~~
How do you navigate a world with so many diverse peoples. So many variables. What ifs. Hows comes. Where for. In what respect.
Respect.
What the world needs now is respect. Sweet respect.
Just because there is love does mean not respect is.
The more love we have, the more attachment and thus inevitable suffering. Love leads to eventual heartbreak. Respect leads to a general well-being amongst the human race.
The song got it wrong. Respect-- its the only thing that there's just too little of.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Far, far there was this little girl..
I like the boy on idol who never smiles.
I finally got around to reading(starting) Brave New World. And I totally relate to the dude who was not socially conditioned to think like the rest of his kind. The one who thinks too much about the ills of society and is therefore unhappy-- unlike the rest of the oblivious world. He doesn't take the happy pills so he is all the worse for it.
I've not finished the story yet, so we'll see how he fares. I can only hope for the best. Though he probably is killed off by the crazy ignorant blissful sexaholics. Tragic.
Still seeking a job, if you have one tell me. I draw the line at sex worker. But I'm open to most anything else.
:)
Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go
How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
I finally got around to reading(starting) Brave New World. And I totally relate to the dude who was not socially conditioned to think like the rest of his kind. The one who thinks too much about the ills of society and is therefore unhappy-- unlike the rest of the oblivious world. He doesn't take the happy pills so he is all the worse for it.
I've not finished the story yet, so we'll see how he fares. I can only hope for the best. Though he probably is killed off by the crazy ignorant blissful sexaholics. Tragic.
Still seeking a job, if you have one tell me. I draw the line at sex worker. But I'm open to most anything else.
:)
Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go
How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Where is my grown up Fun Day?
Every spring in grade school there was one day of the year that was looked forward to beyond all others. They called it Fun Day and it was a glorious time for 5-11 year olds. A day in which each classroom would create a special game and children would wander the hallways freely to line up and participate in these fun activities. At the end of each game a child would receive a prize and they would stick it into a bag full of goodies to take home and enjoy until next spring when the next Fun Day rolled around.
One year I attempted to collect at least five total witch fingers to amount to a whole hand. I ended up with a cheap yo-yo, a cheap kaleidoscope, a very effective chinese finger trap, and a cheap slap bracelet. All of the items were cheap, but we were kids and we did not care.
The point was, it was an entire day where we could dispense with all rules and regulations, abandon our quest for knowledge, and just enjoy a fun day.
My question is this: where is the fun day for adults? Every day we wipe the gunk out of our eyes and begin the unethusiastic commute to our job career occupation. We do our work, we go home. We don't get paid to have fun, we get paid to be productive. When we aren't working, we are out and about running errands, keeping up with social contacts, working out, reading, following the same routine day after day.
What would happen if we just decided to abandon all the rules and productivity, the daily routine and just wander the hallways playing fun games and getting cheap fun prizes. Wouldn't that be a nice change of pace?
Just something to chew on.
One year I attempted to collect at least five total witch fingers to amount to a whole hand. I ended up with a cheap yo-yo, a cheap kaleidoscope, a very effective chinese finger trap, and a cheap slap bracelet. All of the items were cheap, but we were kids and we did not care.
The point was, it was an entire day where we could dispense with all rules and regulations, abandon our quest for knowledge, and just enjoy a fun day.
My question is this: where is the fun day for adults? Every day we wipe the gunk out of our eyes and begin the unethusiastic commute to our job career occupation. We do our work, we go home. We don't get paid to have fun, we get paid to be productive. When we aren't working, we are out and about running errands, keeping up with social contacts, working out, reading, following the same routine day after day.
What would happen if we just decided to abandon all the rules and productivity, the daily routine and just wander the hallways playing fun games and getting cheap fun prizes. Wouldn't that be a nice change of pace?
Just something to chew on.
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