Banana White

Sometimes I listen to classical piano. If I could be half as inspired as Fredric Chopin of Mr Beethoven I would be…well I’d be a half way decent composer.

I’ve always wanted to be exceedingly proficient at the piano.

I can sight read. Poorly. Thanks, grade school piano lessons.

I was eight when my sister told me our piano teacher, Mrs White was related to Vanna. I totally bought it. Like the time I stopped eating bananas because she said if you eat the stringy things, banana trees will start growing in your stomach. To my credit, I was considerably younger than eight when the banana debacle took place. Eventually, I learned not to believe everything I was told. It only took me two years to figure out why my siblings kept telling me gullible was not in the dictionary when clearly it was.

Sometimes I listen to classical piano. I like to think its because it inspires me. Not because I’m a pretentious asshole.

Pandemic - dem= panic. Coincidence? I think SO.

I wish they would have thought up a sweeter name for this particular pandemic. I mean, nothing beats BUBONIC plague..but seriously swine flu? Come on.

And he huffed and puffed and this little piggy went wee wee all the way home.

When pigs fly?

It’s all fun and games until you feel a tickle in your throat and your lungs fill up with phlegm.

Personal branding…what ever happened to “be yourself and they will love you”?

I guess mom lied when she said you have nothing to worry about.

And that’s more unforgivable than banana trees and Vanna White.