Tinkling keys.

7.7.09

Clare de lune, debussy is my new favorite.

Sometimes I listen to classical piano. I like to picture what it would be like to have been alive back in the day these pieces of music were written. A time of relative ease. Peace. When wars were fought with muskets instead of tanks, automatic weapons, and suicide bombs. Where people spent their time socializing in the town market and not on their iphones. When only a fraction of the 6.8 billion human lives today crowded the earth. Who were these souls and did they really differ that much from the people we see today.

Has technology really advanced civilization or doomed us to our own destruction. So many people. To what end.

I have been having difficulty finding beauty in the world. Too much negativity. And I need to get away from it all and rediscover the beauty that was once so obvious to me.

Beauty in a piano concerto. Beauty in a blissful sunset. Beauty in the scent of a blooming rosebush. Beauty in the bitter taste of salt water amidst the crashing waves on a craggy beach. Beauty in a well told story of fiction. An inspirationally well-made film. Beauty that brings you to tears.

Routine has gotten the better of me. And I’ve been made to feel ashamed of my life choices far too much as of recent. The things we must endure for the comforts of familiarity. It is hard to break free from the confines of that which engendered your being. Do people ever really change? Or is it just a change for the worse?

When you meet someone for the first time, do you ever really stop being that same person to them? Everyone has a role they instinctively play. Is it human nature, the wiring of our brain? Something we have done since birth and thus will never truly feel comfortable being anything else.

I often get sad because the world is increasingly not as glorious as my youthful imagination pictured it to be. Full of possibilities and opportunities for happy occasions. But nothing ever really lasts. And I think that is the theme of life. Nothing lasts. Is that why relationships are so scary? Because you know that no matter how happy you get to be, it will not be forever. Eventually something will come along and knock you down a few notches. Eventually you will experience as much pain as you did pleasure.

They say cherish each day as if it were your last. Because nothing ever lasts. Have we all made the best of that advice? I know I am guilty of failing on said account.

Was life easier back in the days of Debussy and chopin? Or is it true that people never really change. Despite generations past…humans really are probably very much the same. Selfish, hateful, and yet capable of some of the most charitable and loving acts imaginable. Enigmatic is the human condition. I still have yet to unlock the mystery that is human behaviour. And they say the theme is love and not loss. But maybe they are one in the same.